Becoming A Caddy

When I tell people I’m a professional caddy the reaction is predominantly that of bemusement and utter confusion. When people tell me they’re an accountant, hairdresser or plumber, I don’t screw up my face and stare in perplexity, so what is it about being a caddy that stumps people so much?

Well, I suppose it’s not your run of the mill profession is it? When asked as a kid what it was that you wanted to be when you grew up, I can guarantee being a professional caddy wasn't the first thing that sprung to mind.

It usually takes a while for them to comprehend that me, a caddy is actually what I do for a living and once I’ve ironed out their furrowed brow and given them time to compute, they inevitably ask me how I got into such a vocation. 

It all happened rather by accident. I used to go to Wentworth Golf Club in Surrey for the Pro-Ams and caddy for some no hoper whose boss had invited anyone who thought they could play golf to the annual high-rolling, hob-nobbing shindig. My players were usually clad top to toe in Pringle as that is what Ronnie Corbett used to wear in A Round with Alliss back in '81. 

I’ve been lucky enough to be drawn with Ernie Els, Colin Montgomerie, Johan Edfors, Padraig Harrington to name but a few Pros. At the same time I have also enjoyed the company of the usual local amateur suspects - Jimmy Tarbuck, Bruce Forsythe, Terry Wogan and more recently the latest breed of amateur celebs: Tim Henman, Michael Vaughan, Gary Neville and Jamie Redknapp. I thoroughly enjoyed my time treading the woodlands of Virginia Water with these stars and it’s a lovely way to spend a day inside the ropes the day before a big tournament. 

I just happened to finish the day around the West Course at Wentworth and went to collect some money from the caddie master, when he asked me to return on the Monday when the Ladies European Tour were due to play in a 36-hole corporate day. Checking my not-so-busy diary, I immediately popped my name down for it.

Rocking up at the crack of dawn Monday morning I was witness to a vision of golfing nirvana at every turn. Lining the driving range from one end to the other were bronzed beauties striking golf balls with power and precision. 

I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. 

Knowing I had some time to kill, I casually wandered behind the range to check out the talent. Eyeing a couple of players from afar I sidled up behind them to admire their form – honestly – and true enough their swings were fantastic.

I was assigned to a delightful Swedish girl called Maria Boden for the day - the very same blond girl I had been admiring not half an hour previously in fact. With the pleasantries and photographs snapped, the starter clicked his little red button and the residents of Surrey’s finest estate popped their Bentleys and Ferraris into park and waited for our players to knock one down the first. 

It’s a pretty daunting tee shot it has to be said; the majestic castle-esque clubhouse sits behind with its wealthy and famous members peering out from the professional shop; a bronze statue of Bernhard Gallagher peers down on you from the left; the raised tee drops away down to the road and the first sign of a fairway is 150yards away over dense gorse. Couple this fear with half a million quids worth of motors idling either side and most people will do well to get one away. Completely unfazed, Maria drove her Callaway HXTour straight down the middle whilst our illustrious playing partners knocked their’s straight in to the cabbage. 

Before long I asked Maria about her career on the Ladies European Tour (LET) and eventually the question of where her own caddy might be arose. She went on to tell me that only the top few girls actually earn enough to afford a caddy. I was staggered. I couldn’t believe that a golfer of this talent wasn’t earning enough to afford a caddy. 

Bemused and impressed, I carried her battered old stand bag with some fairly old clubs within around two of the three courses at Wentworth and walking up the last it seemed only right to ask if she’d like me to caddy for her on tour. Sadly she wasn’t one of the fortunate few who was regularly finishing in the top five at the time, so she declined gracefully.  

Whilst standing in the caddy office idly gossiping about the day’s play to the various other caddies, I was approached by Maria once more and introduced to her friend, Johanna Westerberg, She was equally as beautiful with striking pale blue eyes and long quintessentially blond hair in a perfect plait falling down her athletic figure. After a very brief chat where she primarily asked me, curiously, about my drinking habits, she asked me if I’d like to accompany her on Wednesday to the Ladies Open of Portugal. 

Another very brief check of my diary and I agreed to see her there. 

With flights and accommodation booked I headed out on the Wednesday afternoon to Faro to start my new career.